Okay, imagine this: I’m standing in front of my closet, trying to squeeze into jeans I haven’t worn in a decade. Not only do they not fit, but they’re also totally out of style. That’s kind of what it feels like when you’re chasing old goals that don’t match who you are anymore. And just like I had to let go of those jeans, I realized that some of my old dreams didn’t quite fit this version of me either.
Motherhood changes us in ways we don’t always see coming, and sometimes the goals we used to have don’t make sense anymore. For me, that hit hard when I realized I was still holding onto dreams that didn’t reflect who I am now. Instead of pushing myself toward things that used to excite me, I started looking for what would truly light me up today. It wasn’t about the big, flashy dreams anymore—it was about finding something that made sense for this season of my life, something that felt authentic.
Here’s what I did to redefine my goals to fit where I am now:
1. Press Pause and Take a Breath (Seriously, You Need It)
Before I did anything else, I had to stop and breathe. I can’t tell you how often I’ve felt like I was running on autopilot, with no time to think, let alone dream. So, I pressed pause. I gave myself permission to just stop and ask: Where am I right now? What do I actually want in this phase of my life?
For me, that pause made all the difference. I didn’t need some big, ambitious goal. I just needed to reconnect with something that felt right for where I am now. Whether it was picking up the piano again or simply making time to read a book, I started focusing on the things that brought me joy in small, meaningful ways. That’s what I needed.
2. Set Goals for You—Not for Anyone Else!
Here’s the thing I had to remind myself: I needed to set goals for me, not based on what I thought I should be doing. It’s so easy to compare yourself to that mom who seems to have it all together (you know the one—perfect house, side hustle, cupcakes for every class event). But when I stopped worrying about what everyone else was doing and focused on what made me feel excited, that’s when the magic happened.
Whether it was deciding to start writing again or taking up something new, I asked myself: Am I setting this goal because I’m passionate about it or because I think I should? And when my goals felt personal, they actually stuck.
3. Recognize the Season You’re In (It Might Not Be Time for World Domination, and That’s Okay)
The goals I had five years ago? They didn’t make sense for where I am now. And I’m learning that it’s totally okay for my dreams to change. I’ve built a business that fits my life and how I want to show up for my family, so I’m no longer chasing goals that feel out of sync with my priorities.
I’m recognizing that my goals need to match the season I’m in. Sometimes, that means scaling back or adjusting them, and other times, it means going all in. But what’s important is that they reflect where I am today, whether that’s focusing on personal growth or creating more time for the things that matter most to me—like my family and my business.
4. Push Yourself—But Gently (Because We’re Not Trying Out for Ninja Warrior Here)
While I wanted to be realistic, I knew I also needed to push myself a little. I found a balance between setting goals that felt doable and giving myself a little nudge outside of my comfort zone.
For example, picking up the piano after a year of not playing was a small challenge that felt just right for me. It wasn’t about being perfect; it was about stretching myself in ways that felt good, without overwhelming me.
5. Check In Regularly (Because Life Changes Faster Than Your Kid’s Shoe Size)
I realized I needed to check in with myself regularly. Life changes fast, and I’m constantly evolving. What worked last year, or even last month, might not work now. So I’ve started asking myself every so often: Do my goals still make sense for where I’m at? If they don’t, I switch things up. No guilt, no pressure.
At the end of the day, none of us are the same people we were five years ago—or even last week. Redefining your dreams to reflect who you are right now is what’s helping me feel more connected and more successful in my personal journey. If you haven’t already, check out my posts on 5 Ways to Reconnect with Your Passions During Motherhood and How to Set Goals That Stick. They helped me get to this point, and maybe they’ll help you too.
Ready to reignite your passions and set goals that are all about YOU?
Please join us for our Awaken event on October 30th. We’ll be talking about how to set personal goals that align with where you are now. Email us at info@destination-thrive.com for a special introductory code that offers first-timers a one-time price of $100. Let’s reflect, redefine, and grow together!
Embracing the Journey
Reclaiming our identity beyond motherhood doesn't mean diminishing the value of our role as mothers. Instead, it signifies a commitment to becoming more whole, content, and engaged individuals, capable of embracing the challenges of motherhood with renewed vigor and perspective.
This expedition is not just about self-discovery; it's about modeling a life of balance, fulfillment, and resilience for our children. By nurturing our own identities, we teach our children the importance of self-care, personal growth, and the pursuit of individual passions.
Your Next Step
Ready to take the next step towards designing a life you love? Subscribe, follow, and join us
at Destination Thrive. Together, we're not just surviving motherhood; we're thriving In It.
Comments