Oct 224 min read

Drowning in Chaos—Here’s How I Found My Way Out

A woman sits at a cluttered desk, her hands holding her head in frustration. Piles of books, papers, and notebooks surround her, hinting at the mental overload. She gazes into the distance, seemingly lost in thought or fatigue.

I don’t know about you, but when the COVID-19 pandemic hit, I felt like I lost any sense of personal space. Suddenly, we were all at home—my husband working, the kids doing school online—and it was like every inch of our home became shared, crowded, and noisy. It was hard to find even a moment to breathe, let alone a place where I could just be by myself. I’m sure a lot of you can relate.

I was trying to hold it all together, making sure the kids were taken care of, the house didn’t completely fall apart, and my husband had what he needed for work. But somewhere in that chaos, I realized—I had no space. Not just in the physical sense, but mentally and emotionally too. I hadn’t even noticed how much I was running on fumes until I was completely drained.

That’s when I knew something had to change. And it wasn’t just about making more time for myself (though that was part of it). I needed a space—a physical and mental space—that was mine. A place where I could reconnect with who I am, beyond the roles of mom and wife.

The Moment It Clicked

I remember one day during the pandemic; the house was just buzzing with activity—kids everywhere, my husband on Zoom meetings, and me trying to get a moment of peace. And that’s when it hit me: I had no place to retreat. No quiet corner where I could just sit with my thoughts. I felt like I’d lost myself in the shuffle of everyone else’s needs.

Maybe you’ve felt that too? That overwhelming sense that everything is for someone else, and there’s nothing left for you? It was a tough realization, but it was also the wake-up call I needed.

The Guilt We Carry

I used to think that claiming space for myself was selfish. I mean, how could I ask for time or space when my family needed me? But here’s the thing I learned: it’s not selfish at all. In fact, when I let go of that guilt and started creating space for myself—both physically and mentally—I became a better version of me. I became a better mom, a better partner, and honestly, a happier person.

A woman sits comfortably in a cozy chair by the window, holding a cup of tea. Soft evening light creates a tranquil ambiance, with a candle lit on the small side table beside her. The lush garden outside adds to the peaceful setting.

I started small. I set aside time during the day that was just for me. No interruptions. No guilt. That mental space was a game-changer. I could hear myself think again, dream again, and start figuring out who I wanted to be—not just for my family, but for myself. I found clarity and peace that had been missing for so long.

Claiming a Little Corner of the House

After finding that mental space, I decided I needed a physical space, too. I started with a small sitting area in our bedroom. Nothing fancy, just a little corner that was mine. I decorated it with things that made me feel calm and happy—some art I love, a few cozy touches—and it became my little retreat.

A bright, minimalist home office featuring a wooden desk, a potted plant, and organized shelves. Natural light floods the room through white curtains, creating a calm, focused atmosphere for work or study.

And here’s where it gets good: my family respected it. They knew this was my space, and they didn’t mess with it. No toys, no clutter—just peace. It felt like a little win in the middle of the daily chaos. That small boundary, that tiny claim to space, made such a difference. Suddenly, I had somewhere to go when everything felt overwhelming. It helped me keep my cool and made our house feel more harmonious.

Expanding My Space, Finding Joy

As time went on, I claimed a few more small corners for myself. One of my favorites? A vanity area in our bedroom. I know it sounds simple, but getting ready at my vanity in the mornings became such a joy. It’s my little self-care corner, and even though it’s not behind a closed door, my family knows that when I’m there, it’s "mommy time." No interruptions. It’s amazing how much something so small can make such a big impact.

A woman in a bathrobe sits at her vanity, applying mascara under the soft glow of an illuminated mirror. Skincare products are neatly arranged on the table, setting the scene for a relaxing self-care ritual.

My latest space? The backyard garden. It’s not private, but it’s mine. When I’m out there tending to my plants, my family knows that’s my time to unwind. The garden has become my little sanctuary—a space where I can nurture myself just as much as the plants. It’s become a visual reminder to my family that I need space to grow, too.

Raised wooden garden beds filled with fresh herbs and leafy greens, surrounded by lush grass. The garden setup gives a neat, organized feel, with vibrant greenery thriving in black containers.

You Deserve It, Too

I’m telling you all of this because I want you to know that it’s okay to claim space for yourself. In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s necessary. Whether it’s a small corner of your house or just a few minutes of quiet time, every mom deserves a space to call her own. It’s not about being selfish; it’s about taking care of yourself so you can be the best version of you—for yourself and for your family.

So, where’s your space? If you don’t have one yet, I encourage you to start small. Find a corner, a nook, a window of time that’s yours, and protect it. Trust me, you’ll feel the difference. And your family will, too.

We give so much of ourselves as mothers. But we can’t pour from an empty cup. By carving out space for ourselves—whether physically or mentally—we’re refilling that cup, making sure that we can keep showing up for the ones we love in the best way possible.

Are you ready to find you again?

Please join us for our next Awaken event on January 30th, "Rooted in Values: Discovering What Truly Defines You" (January 30, 2025): Unearth and reconnect with the core values that shape your decisions, purpose, and identity beyond family roles. Email us at info@destination-thrive.com for a special introductory code that offers first-timers a one-time price of $100. Let’s reflect, reconnect, and thrive together!

Awaken: Rediscovering You Beyond Motherhood 1/30/25

January 30, 2025, 9:30 AM – 1:00 PM|Serene Location in North County

Embracing the Journey

Reclaiming our identity beyond motherhood doesn't mean diminishing the value of our role as mothers. Instead, it signiﬁes a commitment to becoming more whole, content, and engaged individuals, capable of embracing the challenges of motherhood with renewed vigor and perspective.

This expedition is not just about self-discovery; it's about modeling a life of balance, fulﬁllment, and resilience for our children. By nurturing our own identities, we teach our children the importance of self-care, personal growth, and the pursuit of individual passions.